Finding personal happiness is an important, on-going goal everyone should focus on. But, when you’re in a partnership you’ve got to look out for your partner too. That means sometimes you have to help your husband find happiness.
I went through a phase where I was pretty stuck in my own head and my own needs. After a while I realized that my marriage was suffering because of it. No, we weren’t on the brink of divorce, but we were short with each other and were consistently failing to connect.
After realizing a big part of this was because I was only focused on myself, I realized just how important it is to help your husband find happiness.
Remember that you can help your husband find happiness, but you can’t force him to be happy. He has to be willing to work for it and choose how he’s going to feel. Keep this in mind as you read through this post. These tips will likely only work to support someone who is receptive to taking their happiness into their own hands.
5 Ways to Help Your Husband Find Happiness
1. Encourage your husband to think about his goals
My husband is a good man – loyal, loving and kind. He works so hard to provide for me and our household that often the day to day stresses prevent him from looking too far into the future.
Does this sound like your situation? Well, this is where you can help.
In order to be happy, we all need to be fulfilled.
I believe that true fulfillment comes from understanding our most earnest desires and goals and putting steps in place to help us achieve them.
If your partner isn’t taking the time to develop and work towards goals, you can play an encouraging role in helping him do this. Start by asking your husband what he wants out of life. What makes him truly happy and what does he want to see when he looks back on his accomplishments. While this may seem really open ended and huge, you might be surprised where these conversations can take you.
Over time and through multiple meaningful discussions, you can help him pinpoint what goals he’s looking to achieve.
You can encourage his to write his goals down and break them into smaller actionable steps. Even if he doesn’t hop on board right away, having these discussions and letting your husband know you care about his goals will help him feel supported.
2. Understand how your behavior impacts your husband
One of the toughest things about marriage is learning how to live with someone all the time. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t the only one who sometimes felt annoyed, frustrated or grouchy with my partner. He felt it too.
That’s why, when trying to support your husband in finding happiness, it’s important to understand how your behavior makes him feel.
Now, let’s be clear, I’m not talking about changing who you are and walking on eggshells to try to please your husband. But, I am suggesting you seek to understand what your husband views as loving, respectful, supportive behavior.
Maybe this looks like verbalizing your appreciation for him. Maybe this looks like giving him space to process when he’s in a mood. Whatever it is, talk to your husband and figure out his love language. Once you understand that better you can make a conscious effort to show more love in the ways your husband understands it best. And, feeling heard and acknowledged plays a big role in someone finding happiness.
3. Encourage your husband’s hobbies
I used to be really, really bad at this. I often felt resentment around working hard at my job then coming home to do all the work around the house just to have my husband ask if it was OK if he go out with his friends.
And I wouldn’t hide it if I was grouchy about it.
Needless to say, this caused some tension in our relationship. But as we’ve worked it out we’ve both come to realize how important my husband’s hobby time is.
We’ve worked out a system where my husband will help with whatever house stuff needs doing before going out with friends (or having them over). This way I’m not left feeling resentful about being left with the work and he can go have a good time knowing all is well at home.
This system has also helped me encourage my husband to participate in his hobbies. When it’s no longer such a negative experience for me I’m able to recognize how helpful having downtime is for him. He comes home happier and more fulfilled, ready to pay more attention to things at home.
4. Support your husband in taking care of his physical well being
Are you focused on eating better/losing weight/being more active? Why not make it a couple’s thing? If you want to help your husband find happiness, a big help can be to encourage a healthy lifestyle.
I talk to my husband openly about my health goals and it helps when he’s on board. But, it’s even better when we’re both working on being healthier and he talks to me about his goals too. So, often I ask probing questions about health and fitness and how different lifestyle choices make my husband feel.
Even if your husband isn’t super excited at the thought of making healthier lifestyle choices, you can still encourage physical well-being by being an example and talking about your own positive experiences.
5. Show appreciation for your husband
If you’re like me, maybe it’s been a while since you consciously put some time into showing appreciation for your husband.
Sure, I say “I love you” and tell him how great he is, but with the hustle and bustle of life it’s hard to put in the time for extras.
But, taking the time to do a little extra goes a long way to make someone feel loved and appreciated. And it doesn’t even have to be extravagant. Maybe put a note somewhere for him to find or make a quick “welcome home” sign for him to come home to.
Whatever it is, showing your appreciation for someone goes a long way towards helping them feel valued. And, when you feel valued by others it makes feeling valued by yourself a bit easier.
As long as he is willing to try, you can help your husband find happiness.
While you’re not responsible for making someone else happy, in a marriage, you are responsible for being a good partner. And, you can help your husband find happiness by showing love and support in a meaningful, thoughtful way.
Have you tried any of the suggestions above? How did it go? What are some other things you do to help your husband find happiness? Let us know in the comments below!